I believe when you are heavy, people look at you different, perhaps even judge you. They may not even know the first thing about you, but they assume you must want to be “fat.” There’s a high-end clothing store in our city that whenever I went into it the saleswomen would just ignore me – as to say “We don’t have clothes that would fit YOU, move along.” If traveling on an airplane, you can watch the person’s face who is assigned to sit next to you just drop as you go to sit down next to them.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the availability of 24-hour news and 24- hour social media has lent itself to a lot of cruel and heartbreaking comments all day long. You’ll see on a Sunday how they profess God is good and then the next thing you’ll see is how I hate Republicans, or I hate Democrats, or I hate stupid people or fat people are disgusting. We had a young lady in our town die in a tragic accident. I know the family. It made National news and the comments were revolting- just God-awful revolting.
So, people, check yourselves! Be a part of the solution. Back to being overweight. Find me one overweight person that says, “Oh yes, I want to be overweight! Absolutely.” We don’t want to be overweight. In my case, I had no idea how to get the weight off and keep the weight off. In the case of others, they may have a legitimate eating disorder. Some of us are blessed to find a “Ryan” who will teach and be patient as we learn how to eat correctly coupled with exercise and watch the weight slowly and steadily come off. But others, even with a Ryan, may not be able to control their impulses to eat. This does not make me “better” than them.
Read this, “I have also learned that my feelings of self-worth are directly tied to my weight. When I’m heavy, I truly do not feel like a “real” person; just an individual going through life invisible. I’m hideous on the outside so it’s hard to think I’m beautiful on the inside! I go with the flow and do not voice my opinions or thoughts as I feel no one will consider me worthy to listen to; as if what I think or say makes no difference whatsoever. Heck, I stress when asked to pick a restaurant! What if the other person doesn’t like it? Then it’s all my fault and everyone will be disappointed. I care what people think of me and don’t like to disappoint anyone.”
That was written by someone very close to me that has been struggling for years. When I say years, I mean over 20, like I had. If you were to talk to my closest friends, they would tell you that this is exactly what I’ve been talking about this past week. In my case, I FELT all those thoughts for the past 20 years and now that I’m thinner (still overweight, but thinner), I’m actually liking myself. I’m actually sticking up for myself and voicing what I would like to do and accomplish in life. I finally am beginning to feel worthy of having an opinion. That should not be, but society pushes thin is beautiful over and over and over again. And that just contributes to us doubting our self-worth.
So, women, men, children, you are not worthless if you are overweight! Believe me when I say that. There’s a whole movement of young people pushing body positivity on Social Media. Just check the hashtag body positive and you’ll find a bunch. Or message me and I’ll give you some suggestions. But just in general, be nice! Be positive. Ask yourself, how can I bless somebody today? Be a friend. You absolutely NEVER know what someone is going through, so be kind!