Patty Poppins? Not Quite….

My last blog post was entitled “Be Kind, It Doesn’t Cost a Dime.”  I wrote about being kind with our day to day interactions with others.  But let me ask you this.  Are you kind with yourself?

My co-workers used to call me Patty Poppins.  They said, “She’s practically perfect in every way.”  Now of course, that is NOT true, but I did practice kindness on a daily basis.  Part of the reason I left my “middle school” job was because I’d end up spending my entire paycheck buying groceries for the kids who came from very poor circumstances.  I understood then that it was a lot easier to be an obedient student if you weren’t starving.  (But I digress- back to the point.)

I am hardest on myself with my silent conversations.  My mental game challenges me.  Here’s a small recap of my journey since August.  I started a 20 week plan in August and I was highly successful.  It ended December 24 and then I was sick for three weeks unable to work out.  I’ve just finished week 3 of a 13 week plan.  I’ve begun swimming with this plan three times a week.  During my entire two year journey, I have never struggled with hunger.  Just the opposite.  I have to force myself to eat at the appropriate times and enough.  BUT when I swim, I get super hungry.  So now, all of a sudden, I’m swimming three times a week and guess what?  I’M HUNGRY!

Last week I was feeling full on hunger pangs and I did NOT like it.  And just so you don’t worry too much, I already eat 1850 calories a day.  So it’s not like I’m only taking in 1200 calories.  I have a good calorie intake.  I was able to talk through some possible fixes with my trainer, but still I woke up kind of grumpy this morning.

CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF:  I think I’ll just write Ryan and tell him I’m not going to need his help anymore.  I don’t think I’ve lost any weight.  I’m hungry all the time.  Maybe I’ll just stop swimming too.  This is getting to be too hard.  I don’t like thinking about this all the time.  He probably won’t let me quit, but it’s not up to him.  It’s up to me!   NEXT I ROLE PLAY.  Now I’m Ryan:  “Hey Patty, have I ever steered you wrong?”  ME:  Well, No. you haven’t.  I am a highly competitive person and seeing as I wasn’t even winning the imaginary conversation in my head, I decided to get up out of bed and get ready for the Bible class at our house this morning.

I went to my closet to pick out casually nice clothes (not workout clothes).  I looked at this pair of pants and I said, those didn’t even fit two weeks ago.  Hmmmmmmmm.  (Wheels turning in my head.)  Perhaps I will try them on and see how much longer until I can button them.  (Patty puts them on and buttons them.)  My attitude begins to brighten.  I say to myself, I guess I won’t quit tomorrow.  And just like that it’s back to positive Patty.

Oh my word!  Those conversations though.  We seem to be our own worse critics.  The battlefield certainly is in the mind.  As people arrive for class, my friend tells me how I’ve been a huge blessing as well as a motivator for her in her journey to be her best possible self.  We are similar in age and starting weight and she told me that if I could do it, she could too.  I love it, she calls it shape shifting!  (The pictures show her transformation so far and then our photo today with my pants that didn’t fit two weeks ago.)

So I do what I do to LIVE and I’m reminded to not give up when people like Hillary tell me that I inspire them.  There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.  That’s when you have to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.  Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you!  Talk to yourself.  Talk to your trainer.  Talk to a friend.  But keep going.  It’s definitely worth it.  And be kind to yourself!