change the narrative, Frustration, The Scale

Motivation Monday – September 5, 2016

You know, it’s funny (or maybe not so funny).  The first thing that comes to my mind about today being a “holiday” is there is NO weigh-in Monday.  Today I’m actually kind of happy about that fact.

About 12 weeks ago I was put on a “rehab” schedule of workouts because of my knee.  Since that time, my weight loss has slowed dramatically and I get frustrated about that often.  I feel like Dory on Finding Nemo.  One day I’ll see the positive and then “A boat?  Hey, I’ve seen a boat!” and I’m off in negative land.

I got sick with a head cold after my Senior Games swim and I had that for about a week.  I still worked out, but I didn’t eat much because I didn’t feel like it.  My weight stayed the same last Monday which was to be expected.  I didn’t let that get to me.  I was ready for a great week as I was able to attend two sessions a day of weight training.  I missed my 4:00 friends and I was so happy to be able to be back with them.

I did have to make myself these positive affirmation cards though recording the progress I have made since January.  I look at these daily and sometimes several times a day.  I have a photocopy of them up in my locker at the gym too.

Remember how far you have come!

I showed these to my doctor on Thursday and she LOVED them.  Thursday I had my first completely normal blood pressure in about 4 years.  That was great.  Kudos, right?

Well right before I went to my doctor appointment, I had my last physical therapy session with the trainer Suzanne.  This means I can start doing squats and lunges again and that I can do leg day again.  This should be a major kudos, right?  Yet all I can see is how fat I still look in the dang pictures.

PT is done!  Thanks Suzanne!

Totally not what Suzanne or others see.  Why is it so difficult for us to see ourselves as others see us?  Anyways, I was feeling quite down about these photos when I went to the doctor.  The great blood pressure and the high fives from my doctor made me feel good again.  (Oh look – a boat!)

Friday, I felt weak and I could not deadlift the amount of weight I usually can.  I start getting down on myself again and I’m like “What is going on with me?”  Friday night we are doing pull ups and it dawns on me – “Oh yeah, you had a tetnaus shot yesterday.  That might be part of the problem.”  Duh?  “Oh look – a boat.”

Saturday, I’m excited because I get to attend an actual NLP class.  I haven’t done that for 2 or 3 months.  But stupid me, I decide to weigh myself before class.  (I’m not supposed to do that, but since Monday was a holiday, I thought I’d check.)  Up a pound and a half.  Shoot!  Frustrated – yeah, just a little.

Sunday, I get to wear street clothes because I have no workout.  I pull a pair of jeans out and put them on and I’m swimming in them.  I’m like whose jeans are these, anyway!  Oh, those are mine and they were too tight in January.  Today I could have fit me and my youngest Ben in those jeans.  “Oh look, a boat.”

I’m definitely not going to quit.  I do get frustrated, yes.  But I am training my mind to grab on to the positive.   I am especially thankful for those who have sent me cards, e-mails, or messages on Facebook about how this blog inspires you.  I can’t tell you how many times after I post a post, I want to take it down.  I feel like it’s too honest and I’m not sure if I want it all out there.  I highly recommend making the positive affirmation cards – whatever that equates to for you.  My doctor was like “Whose idea was that?  I love that.”  They help me every day.

Oh and can I just say to Mana and Ryan if you read this, thank you for putting up with my ups and downs.  I know you see the good in me and I am thankful for that.  I’m determined to meet my goals and I’m trying to get better with my frustration level.

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