Oh my goodness I have so much to say. Shocker, isn’t it?!?
My husband and I recently returned from a cruise to Bermuda. Several people have asked me “What was your favorite part of the cruise.” The only thing I can say is that it is a “feeling.” A feeling of thankfulness for where I am today, a feeling for how active I can be today, a feeling of how great life is for me!
I’ve slowly (over time) made a shift in my thinking about my fitness journey. For so long I was caught up in the number on the scale and why hadn’t it moved down more or faster or whatever! I really think I put pressure on myself to get down to at least 100 pounds lost before Ryan decided to move on in his career and possibly stop helping me. I don’t know if that makes sense or not, but for a long time I wanted to lose the weight to make him proud. Yet all along he has said, “You are doing this for YOU! Not me. Not anyone else. YOU.” I feel like that has clicked in the past few months (only took a year. lol) I think the biggest thing I can stress here is make sure you are doing it for you! Maybe you want to look good for your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe your parent is pressuring you?? You need to get to the place that you want to do it for YOU!
Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us. If my mind is made up that I am doing this for ME, then it is easier for me to work around the curveballs that are thrown my way. I’ve always been a competitor so throw a curve ball at me and I’ll show you how I can overcome.
The other thing I realized is how many women there are who are much thinner than I am and look fantastic, yet still are unhappy with their body or their weight. (Was I going to get to my goal weight and still be unhappy? I need to change that perception now.) And then also how many times a day they weigh themselves. Let me ask you this, when you weigh yourself (more than once a day) are you going to do something different that day based on the number? If not, why weigh yourself? I hope to help change your perception of yourself by writing what I am learning.
Would I love to have the body I had at 20 and before 3 children? Maybe. But I’d much rather be happy, healthy, and strong. The last time I weighed myself was before Ryan left at the end of May. The next time I will weigh myself (because of my summer) is at the end of July. I cannot tell you how freeing this is. I get physically angry at the number on the scale and it usually ruins my day if not my week. Do you know how crazy that is? I need to STOP that.
So far I have lost 66 pounds. I have NOT lost 100 pounds. BUT – here is what I have done so far this summer that NEVER would have been possible 18 months ago (or for the past 12 years).
|First time EVER – zip lining|
|First time EVER as an adult cliff jumping|
|First time in a VERY long time – I wore a bathing suit in public.|
|First time EVER – simulated skydiving|
|First time in 10 years to go away with just my husband –
AND stay in the same room because I don’t snore like a freight train anymore.
Please do NOT let the scale define you! Do not let it occupy space in your head. I am not near my goal weight at all, but I am also no longer almost 300 pounds. I am so much healthier AND happier. I will get there. It’s just going to be on a slower timetable than some. And I will get there because I am doing this for ME.
You are more than a number