2/24/18 Hero: Patty Deters
Today’s #SameHere🤙 Hero: Patty Deters (What an upbeat & positive Hero we have here…she absolutely has inspired me with her story these past few days. It’s been over 3 months now, still not a single repeat in terms of background stories, bc life affects us all in so many ways. In Patty’s case – it was about her weight throughout her life & her perception of herself relative to others. Who reading this hasn’t at some point questioned – have I put on too much? Am I too thin/scrawny?
I know for myself…in the spirit of being vulnerable…we just got back a cut of a documentary we’re working on, & my initial reaction was damn, back in November ‘17 before our launch event, I had packed some lbs on due to the lack of exercise & sleep for a month of the work leading up. Funny how my mind went there, instead of the content, initially. It’s sooo natural to be self-critical of our weight. It beats us up mentally. That said, I love Patty’s message below – where a trainer taught her to speak positively to herself, ABOUT herself…& that proved to be a big part of how her transformation took-off!). Eric Kussin
_ _ _ _
“I have struggled mentally with low self-esteem & self-worth for most of my life —far before I began putting on weight. At 8 years old, my 3rd grade teacher, sent us home each day with a warning, ‘Beware of the Zodiac Killer.’ (For those too young to remember, the Zodiac Killer was the name given to a serial killer who committed murders in the the late 1960s/early 1970s). We would walk a mile home each day, scared to death. But, to show what was going on in my mind at the time, I remember thinking ‘Well I’m not as pretty as my friend. He’d probably want to go after the pretty girls.’
I was a high school cheerleader. I was always at the bottom of the pyramid because at 120 pounds I was 20-25 pounds heavier than my girlfriends. In college my swim team nicknamed me ’Cutey Curves’ because at 145 I was 40 pounds heavier than the other swimmers. And so it went from there.
I had my last child when I was 40 years old & continually put on weight for the next 15 years, despite all my attempts to lose weight. I felt disgusted with myself. Inching closer & closer to 300 pounds, I was desperate for change.
I have always believed I was fat (even when I wasn’t). This left me feeling less than the best. I felt like I had no value because I was heavy. I did not love myself; I’m not even sure I liked myself. I felt like I had no worth and I felt hopeless because I couldn’t figure out how to get the weight off.
I thought these feelings were tied to my obesity. I tried 15-20 different weight loss plans with very limited success. Help kind of found me. I was working out at a gym. A friend told me a trainer wanted to help me lose weight. I shrugged it off. I was pretty sure no one could help me. She told me at least ten more times before I decided to approach him & see what he had to say. We started working together & he was a master at not only teaching me how to eat correctly & exercise correctly, but how to talk to myself correctly. He called me “champ” every day. I called myself the Pillsbury Dough Boy & he quickly & swiftly corrected me & said do not talk to yourself like that. Slowly day-by-day the weight came off & my self-confidence grew because of his great coaching.
My weight loss journey continues as does my fight mentally to believe in myself. Exercise helps me stay positive. I also have a strong, small network of friends, including that trainer, that I can go to when I start to really doubt myself. I also have found young women on Instagram who are faithfully & boldly spreading the message about self-love. Loving yourself no matter what your body looks like. Reading their posts help me & make me thankful that young girls of today can hear that message.
That 3rd grade teacher loaded my mind with fear. So not only did I go through life thinking I was fat & ugly & had no value, I also was afraid of a lot of things in the world around us. Last year, I took some kickboxing classes & I learned enough to know how to defend myself. I was no longer afraid to go for a walk in the neighborhood by myself. I was no longer afraid to go to the store after dark by myself.
I love to write, & I’ve kept a private blog for years. About 6 months into my weight loss journey, I made the blog public. The response was overwhelming really. I’ve been told the posts they love to read the most are when I share my struggles & how I am overcoming them. My mental picture of myself did not automatically change just because I lost weight. I look on the outside like a totally different person, but I struggle on the inside still of not being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough. I think there are a lot of people that feel the same way I did/do & if I can help reach one person with this #SameHere🤙 Story & my other posts, & let them know that no matter what they look like, they are valuable, then my writings will have been successful.”
You can follow WeAreAllALittleCrazy on Facebook and Instagram, and WeAreAllALittleCrazy.org