I’m Not Going to Write Anymore

I’m not going to write anymore!  That’s right.  That’s what I said on Wednesday.  I’m done.  I laugh when I think of what Ryan said, real calmly, “Well, I don’t think that’s the answer.”  But honestly, it is how I feel at times.  Then today when chatting with my sister-in-law and my cousin, they both tell me how inspired they are by my posts and I’m like, really?  Because I was about done!

So I ask myself, “What have I got to write about?”  Do you want to hear about how fun Monday was at Main Event Fitness with Jenna and Lisa?  How it was so nice outside we decided to go for a little run to get our heartrate going.

Or maybe about how hard Tuesday’s cardio session was with Ryan.  I swear I think he’s trying to kill me.  Or after it was over how happy I was (that I was still alive) and that I had burned almost 600 calories in one hour.

Oh wait, how about Wednesday when I stepped on the scale to see a whopping .5 pound lost and I kind of got angry about that.  Maybe that would be the story, right there?  But perhaps I should spin it on a more positive note and write about a PR on bench press or the fact that my tendonitis in my thumb is healing up nicely?

Perhaps you would like to know how it makes me feel when Ryan tells me I can’t drop my calories to 1500 on Saturday and Sunday.  I need to keep them at 1900 like I do the rest of the week.  That one always makes my day.  Want me to write about that?  (As I sit here on Saturday thinking “Shoot I need to eat again.”)

Or how about how on Thursday’s cardio session we beat Tuesday’s calorie burn and we got above 600 calories burned in one hour.  (Is “we” really the right pronoun there?)

Wait- how about how it took me back to when I was 14 years old walking into AAU swim practice for the first time, when I walked into CMU’s pool Friday morning and couldn’t find the Master swimmers?  (They had switched pools and the coach wasn’t there.)  Or how I conquered that insecurity.  I didn’t run away.  I got in with them and completed the entire workout.

How about my hairdresser telling me I should write a book.  I’ve thought about that.  But people want a book that says, “How to lose 100 pounds in two months.”  or something ridiculous like that.  I’ll write a book when the 100 pounds is off and has stayed off.  That’s what’s going to happen and that’s what I’ll write about.

I will write a book some day!

Should I tell you about how I don’t even want to go out to eat and drink with my husband because I’m afraid my weight will go up.  That’s not “living life” now, is it?  (Now that’s not how I always feel, but it is how I felt last week.)  

I don’t know guys.  I just don’t know what to write about.  I’m human.  I have ups and downs.  I think it may be time for me to make updated index cards to remind myself of the gains I’ve made in the last year for those times I get in the “I’m not going to write, anymore!” moods.


7 thoughts on “I’m Not Going to Write Anymore”

  1. I have a confession! I don't read all of your blogs! BUT!!! When I really need a lift? When I really feel bad??? When my internal dialogue is kicking my butt??? I DO! And you know what else? It makes me smile every stinking time! And if you don't know what to say, what you just said works! Thank you!!!

  2. I don't read everything, but I am in agreement with Jamie. You bless me big time! Love you lots. Enjoy your freedom 🙂

  3. I don't think people read all my posts and that's okay. Writing is something I like to do, so I do it. But it just makes me feel vulnerable sometimes and that's what happened this week. It's all good. Thanks for the chat this morning. That was helpful.

  4. I love your posts and I try to read the majority of them! I love your stories about those that motivate you because that's where our greatness comes from right? We all are motivated by someone to make ourselves better and even not knowing the person just hearing their story can be motivation enough 🙂 just keep on keeping it raw like you do because for everyone going through this journey the struggle is real.

  5. Thanks Jennifer. It's definitely raw. I too have been enjoying writing about others. I've learned a lot about them during the interview process.

  6. Patty, your posts are so real and so helpful and you are doing something I have wanted to but haven't been able to go there. Pleases don't stop! It's helping so many including me.

  7. Alright Merna, I won't stop. I'll take Kate's advice. Sometimes it will be public (posted) and sometimes not. It will be good to have it documented if I ever do publish something. Love you.

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